Admissions Decisions: Practicing Patience & Positivity
We are almost to March 10th and by now many parents are anxiously awaiting their children’s admissions decisions! Most students and families have a “top” school, although many also do not. So, when all the outcomes of this lengthy private school admissions process reveal themselves, how does it feel to a student (or their parents) placed on a waitlist?
As I’ve reflected on this topic, I am interested in focusing on the idea of hope as admissions decisions unravel. Why hope? Because I think it is so important to take a moment to appreciate, celebrate and acknowledge your child’s individual strengths as well as those of your family.
Despite what the rigorous and competitive private school admissions process has looked and felt like, it is important to keep in mind that children are not products to be graded, sorted, and labeled. Yet maybe this is what the outcomes of the admissions process may feel like? This week when admissions decisions arrive, students have been graded, sorted into piles, and labeled as an “accept,” a “waitlist” or a “deny.” And parents, as human beings who adore their children, want to do everything within their power to care for their children when the decisions arrive.
As you consider how you want to view your student’s admissions decisions, I encourage you to view things with a strengths-based lens. We live in an age where student accountability, regardless of the child’s age, is translated into some sort of systemic evaluation. It starts when kids are born and they are assessed an Apgar Test and assigned ratings when they are under five minutes old and it progresses through many physical, developmental, and educational milestones, all the way through their educational life, and beyond!
If your child’s admissions decisions result in a disappointing decision for you (and your student), consider focusing on your child’s strengths, rather than the temptation of what is “broken” and needing to be fixed. The private school admissions process is imperfect, and I’d hope that any Director of Enrollment would admit that too. Look at this experience of applying to private schools through your child’s eyes to make sure they have an optimistic experience this week. Having positive childhood experiences help children to grow in healthy ways, even amidst adversity, rejection, disruption, and failure. Remember to separate your own anxiety about the admissions outcomes from your child’s----your student should not have to experience your own burden.
As you endure this time with your student, here’s a piece of advice you can take with you: enjoy the small moments of love and laughter with your children and family that you may take for granted. Slow things down as patience makes us pay attention. Delight in the unpredictable with yourself and your kids, creating moments of silly and joy. Throw that cooked spaghetti against the wall, laugh when the milk spills and get into your PJ’s at 7pm! Yes, having a student who is waitlisted or denied is stressful and likely frustrating, so practicing patience is to be calm, no matter what happens. When you do, you’ll be turning it into a growth opportunity for you and your child. Remember this challenging time might also bring you decisions that in the end present the best fit school for your child’s educational journey!