The Gift of Love: Lessons from Our Children at Every Age

Valentine’s Day is approaching and before you get inundated with posts and ads, I wanted to reflect on it a bit. Yes, it’s a celebration of love in all its forms—not just romantic love, but it also captures the everyday moments of connection, compassion, and understanding that shape our lives. As a mother, I’ve come to realize that some of the greatest lessons on love have come from my own children.

From the moment they were small, they taught me about unconditional love, resilience, and the joy of simple moments. Now that they are young adults, those lessons continue in new ways. No matter their age, our children have a way of showing us what love truly means.

Here are five things that I know children—both young and grown—teach us about love:

1. Love Without Conditions

When they were little, my children would throw their arms around me after a hard day, loving me simply because I was Mom. They didn’t care if I had forgotten their favorite snack when driving the soccer carpool or if I had started falling asleep reading to them at night. Their love was given freely, no strings attached.

Now, as young adults, they continue to teach me about unconditional love. A spontaneous phone call just to check in, a simple “Love you, Mom” at the end of a text, or the comfort of knowing they still seek my guidance reminds me that love isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence!

2. Forgive and Move Forward

Children have an incredible ability to let go of frustration and move on. One minute, they’re upset because their tower of Jenga blocks fell, and the next, they’re rebuilding it with even more enthusiasm.

As they grow, this lesson takes on deeper meaning. I’ve made mistakes as a parent—missed a state cup semi-final game, overreacted about a friend choice, not listened as well as I should have. But my children, both young and grown, have always been quick to forgive. They remind me that love isn’t about holding onto grievances but about moving forward with grace.

3. Be Present

When they were little, love meant reading Shel Silverstein books over and over, shooting hoops in the driveway together, and sitting on the sidelines of their soccer and hockey games. They didn’t need extravagant trips or big surprises—they just wanted me to be there.

Now, presence looks different. It’s answering the phone when they call from college, sitting together gabbing at the table longer after dinner has ended when they are home, or sending a reassuring text when they need support. They remind me that love isn’t about what we do—it’s about simply showing up.

4. Express Love Loudly and Often

Little kids have no hesitation when it comes to saying “I love you.” They write it in crayon on homemade cards, whisper it as they drift off to sleep, and show it in the tightness of their hugs after school.

As they grow older, love is expressed in different ways—but it’s still there. A young adult might not shout their love from the rooftops, but they show it through thoughtful gestures such as getting a Dunkin’ coffee, a hug before heading back to school, or even sharing a funny Instagram post that they know will make me laugh. .

They remind me that love should never go unspoken—no matter our age.

5. Find Joy in the Little Things

Some of my most treasured moments as a parent aren’t from big milestones, but from the small, simple joys—belly laughs when cooking together, lazy Sunday mornings making waffles in our pj’s, inside jokes about our Christmas gift tags that last for years.

Even as my children have grown, those moments remain. The way we connect may look different—sharing a charcuterie board at the kitchen island instead of bedtime stories—but the joy is the same. They remind me that love isn’t about grand gestures; it’s found in the everyday moments we too often take for granted.

Love That Grows With Them

As my children have grown, so has my understanding of love. It isn’t always something we teach them—it’s something they teach us, again and again, in every stage of life.

As Valentine’s Day is upon us, I find myself grateful for the greatest teachers of love I’ve ever had—my children. Whether they’re small enough to fit in my arms or old enough to venture out into the world, their love remains the purest, most beautiful gift of all.