Steps For Letters of Recommendations That Shine

It’s that time of year where my team is asked so many questions about letters of recommendation. As we approach the holidays, now’s the time to decide who to ask to be recommenders for your student beyond the required math and english teacher recommendations. 

We always encourage families to submit a non-school recommendation letter that speaks to a student's strength of character. This is best if it comes from someone who has known the student longer and speaks to how they have grown and matured. This additional letter can be from a coach, music teacher, tutor, and family friend, but not a relative. 

Asking for letters of recommendation is a crucial part of applying to private school. Our goal is to help your student put their best, and most authentic, foot forward when it comes to their academic, student life and overall character - that includes knowing who to ask to support them through the admission process!

After helping many students answer this question, here’s how to know who to ask for letters of recommendation so your student’s application stands-out on the admission team’s desk. 

Who truly knows your student?

It doesn’t make sense to ask for a letter of recommendation from someone your student has not spent much time with. Instead, help your student think through the past few years of their school experience to understand the leaders, coaches and teachers in their life. 

When you’re trying to come up with a list of possible letter of recommendation candidates, consider everyone your student knows from the activities they’ve been involved with over the past few years. This will help you create a solid and reputable list that will allow your student’s recommendation to shine. 

From this list, have your student consider each person and how well they know them. The stronger the relationship your student has with this person, the better they will be able to provide your student with a recommendation that captures their true self. 

Remember that a great letter of recommendation doesn’t have to be from individuals who your student has worked with in the past year. Some of the best letters of recommendations might come from people that your student has known for many years now. 

When’s the right time?

As you might know, the private school admission cycle is lengthy! To stay on track with the timeline of schools your student is applying to, ask for their letters of recommendation in November. Before everyone is consumed by the holidays, now is the best time to request a letter. Also, some teachers or coaches limit how many letters they will write, so ask away! As the saying goes, “the early bird gets the worm!”  

Tips For Asking

There’s no doubt this process can be intimidating, especially if you or your student have never done it before! Use these tips to make executing the asking process smooth. 

  • Encourage your student to make “the ask” themselves. Remember that in-person is always best, if possible.

  • Have your student ask if they are interested in this and have the time to dedicate.

  • Thank your recommender for their support during your student’s time with them.

  • Express why they would be a good fit for a letter of recommendation.

  • Explain where your student is applying to and share a detail or two about why you’re excited about this school.

  • Outline the requirements of the letter and any important due dates.

  • Ensure they know how to submit the letter as it is best sent directly to admissions.

Keep Deadlines in Mind

Just remember that it’s totally appropriate to remind your recommenders of any important deadlines if you haven’t heard from them. If they haven’t let you know that the letter was sent two weeks before the deadline, it’s time to check in to see if they need a follow up reminder. 

If you want to be on top of your student’s application, give your recommender a due date that is earlier than the official deadline. 

Send a Thank You

It can be easy to get caught up in the business of applying to private school and miss the opportunity to send a thank you to your student’s recommenders. This few minute task goes a long way for those who took the time to help your student get to the next step of their education. And remember, the best thank you notes are those written directly by your student in their own words! 

What’s one tip from this list that you found most helpful?

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